Twas the night before Christmas and all through the houseNot a creature was stirring just the Mac and the mouse,When all of a sudden a wail filled the airAs the burglar alarm detected a hair.
I ran to the keypad pushed down on the codeHoping neighborly tempers would not explode. The phone rang and I told the guard I was fineWhen over the rooftop came a great whine,
Then four beeps a grunt a groan and a sighAnd a deep voice bellowing down from on high:"Things have come to a pretty pass. I have to say,When the elves install car alarms right on my sleigh!"
He was dressed for South Florida wearing shorts and a tee,With the logo of Lauderdale-down-by-the-sea.
Brakes squealed as a sleigh wheel got caught in the gutterAnd Rudolph's hoof smashed up a hurricane shutter.
They don't cover sleigh wheels or santas or deer,So I'd soon be in debt for for this holiday cheer.
"Have a soft drink?" I offered to get him out faster,But at moochng this guy was clearly the master."Soda? For children! Just give me a brew. Molsons preferred but Corona will do."
"Gee. Santa," I said as I eyed his big sack,"I still have twelve boxes left to unpack. Instead of a gift this year maybe your elvesCould help me assemble my lamps and my shelves?And move this big table and hang all those prints --"
But all of a sudden I saw Santa wince."I have a long drive," he said with a frown,"And the elves union says they have to put downTheir tools after midnight or I travel aloneAnd call for repairs on my cellular phone. A mechanic on holidays? I don't do magicAnd delaying these gifts to good kids would be tragic."
The sleigh was still on the roof so I cried,"Take special care as you climb up the side!Those screens are secure and they have little wiresTo sound an alarm against burglars and fires --"
Too late! A boot crashed and the sirens beganAnd 'twas back to the keypad before they could scanMy sensors again for twice in one nightWould give any alarm system cause for a fright.
I'll be spared Santa's gifts when I wake Christmas morningSo I'll just take some time to post a new warning:"No trespassing: Elves and santas beware!All visitors must offer to do home repair!"
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Related article:
http://qmzmig.blogspot.com/2007/11/santa-visits-just-moved-newcomer-in.html
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